Coaching in Catania: Sicilians Conquer the Romans in Bloody Battle for the Ages

Glad tidings from Roma.

(Pregame dinner in Capo Mulini)

We left for the Catania airport at 6:00 a.m., about the time most of our players usually go to bed. Upon landing in Rome, our bus drove by ruins of Rome's ancient port at the beach area of Ostia, temporarily distracting us from our purpose for being there. With almost 6 hours to kill before game time, we released the players on their own recognizance to walk around town and eat breakfast on a beautiful sunny day. I had pizza, fried chicken, tortelloni, baked eggplant, lasagna, and a few appetizers while waiting for my food. Players who seemed less nervous ate a full meal.

(Mel found a need for speed in Ostia)

Our pregame warm up drills looked horrible. The Marines from the City of Rome (State of Lazio), looked like hungry giants, and they knew this game would make or break their playoff aspirations, despite playing in last year's superbowl. Their team, widely recognized as the most physical, trash-talking, dirty, cheap-shot sons-of-bitches in Italy, must eat steroids for breakfast, because they made our biggest linemen, Godzilla and King Kong, appear malnourished.

Prior to kickoff, Mel knew he needed to wake the sleeping the Elephants or we would soon be slaughtered. He gathered the team and said, simply, I have just two words for you: "Work hard! Do your assignment! Never give up! And let's go out there and kick their ass and win this #%&* game!"

(The Roman battlefield)

The Marines kicked off the game with an onside kick that rolled about 7 yards before Fortunato, an Italian pygmy born circa 350 BC, and affectionately known as "Lucky", after pausing 3 minutes to reflect on the situation, decided to fetch the ball in the most selfless act of heroism and stupidity I have ever witnessed. Eleven charging Marines simultaneously decapitated him and obliterated the corpse before recovering the onside kick. Less than 1 minute after their kickoff, we were down by 6, with boisterous approval from an obnoxious and raucous crowd of spectators across the field.

Our offense responded with a series of crisp passes and a few strong runs, before knotting the game at 6 on a pass from Richard to Clarence. The war had begun, and the battle seesawed until we retired for the half with a 28-27 lead.

Prior to the game, having stressed the importance of hydration, I drank perhaps more water than I should have, in retrospect. By midway in the second quarter, my bladder gave me an ultimatum which I could no longer ignore, and while our defense battled, I finally did what any self-respecting American male would have done in similar circumstances, and walked over behind our bench to wiz. Of course, all the spectators sat on the other side of the field, and I faced away from them simply hoping no one would notice or wonder, as I stood there by my lonesome in a bright red shirt for what seemed like an eternity. At that point, I suddenly recalled for the first time all day that the game was being nationally televised in Italy. Hmmn..., I could not stop midstream anyway, so I just opened the floodgate and finished as fast as I could, before returning to the sideline with a scarlet letter on my pants that would soon evaporate.

The battle continued the second half, and our offense remained determined to score every time we got the ball. Details of the game now seem sketchy to me, due to my intense concentration at the time, but I recall multiple on-side kicks and 4th and long conversions we made, with a go-for-broke attitude. Our O-line protected and our QB never missed. Unfortunately, after driving the length of the field quickly on one drive, and after David made a nice catch and run down to the goal line, he fumbled into the endzone and the Marines recovered and took the lead. At some point during the 4th quarter we trailed by 9, but no one doubted or surrendered, and with the help of a few defensive stops, including a late interception in the red zone, and the recovery of an onside kick, our offense roared back and the Elephants won 48-37.

I do not know the stats, but I'm certain Richard threw several TDs (no picks again) for several hundred yards, behind a stalwart O-line and the help of several terrific receivers, including Claudio, Yocopo, Gregorio, Peppe, Clarence and David, and some strong running by Enrico and David. Mel's depleted defense made stops when we had to have them, including a critical stop late in the 4th quarter, with an interception by one of our Sicilian backers, to seal the game. Godzilla also came through with a successful onside kick in the 4th quarter. (All of Italy refers to our team only as the "Sicilians" rather than the Catania Elephants, as if that word says it all.)

By the end of the game, everyone seemed too exhausted to even celebrate. Players and coaches exchanged hugs, and I could not even speak. The Sicilians had done something in Rome that few in the IFL believed they could accomplish.

(Receivers)

I said my goodbyes to the team, and the owner (Davide) and players I had come to love and admire in only a month's time; and wished them well in the upcoming game against the undefeated Parma Panthers, for which I would only contribute a scouting report. Mel gave me a hard time for returning home for "another graduation for Shiloh" during the week of the Parma game, just as I had done 2 years ago in Bologna. I told him to take that up with Shiloh when he returns to San Diego in about a month.

(David, Davide, me, Luis, Mel and Clarence)

I won't miss sleeping on that sagging sofa, and I have a new appreciation for American traffic laws, but I will miss the fun I had with Mel and Luis, the morning cappuccino in Capo Mulini overlooking the Ionian Sea and Mt. Etna, the camaraderie with the Italian and American players, the strategizing with Davide and Richard -- and the late-night pizzas and birre at Dietro le Mura.

Ciao tutti e buona fortuna Elephants!

Grazie,

Larry